시원스쿨 아이엘츠/토플

Actual test 10회 11번 문제 관련 질문 드립니다.

What is the most important thing that a college should invest in?
- scholarship / various equipment for research / facilities in the library
에서 scholarship을 선택하고 선생님 이전 강의들을 참고하여 작성하였는데, 틀린 부분이 없는지 피드백 받고 싶습니다.

I think scholarship is the most important thing that a college should invest in.
Most of all, it is helpful for much more students to study in a college.
In the case of my best friend, he had good grades at high school.
However, his family didn't have enough money to pay expensive tuition fee.
Fortunately, he received scholarship from his college and he was able to study in the college.
As a result, he received a bachelor's degree and he is working at a famous IT company.